


The Marathon

by theOther_Will_Grayson



Category: Scrubs (TV)
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-04
Updated: 2020-04-04
Packaged: 2021-02-28 23:08:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,776
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23475193
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theOther_Will_Grayson/pseuds/theOther_Will_Grayson
Summary: One hard night at the hospital finally brings two pining doctors together.
Relationships: Perry Cox/John "JD" Dorian
Comments: 13
Kudos: 130





	The Marathon

**Author's Note:**

> No one will likely see this. Scrubs is dead, so is the fandom. I'm still here, though. I'm in the middle of a rewatch, and I have the feels again. This is based on some moments from my own relationships that had too much poetry to leave in the real world.

JD wasn’t the most athletic guy growing up, and he certainly wasn’t anymore, but from 7th grade until he graduated high school, he participated in a horrible, deadly, thrilling sport called cross country. Initially, it had been the bright idea of his optimistic father in a fit of wishful thinking. Optimistic, because 7th grade JD looked like a stiff breeze could give him a panic attack, and the thought of  _ running  _ in front of  _ people _ in the  _ woods _ nearly made him go catatonic. But as time went on, he realized it helped a lot with stress and anxiety, whether he was any good at it or not.

There was this race, hosted by the Minooka Mountain Lions. It was the longest course in the conference. High school kids ran 5ks, or about 3.1 miles, but by middle school standards, the winding 1.8 miles of Minooka Park’s trails may as well have been a marathon. And at the end, a hundred scrawny twelve year olds were expected to drag themselves up a hill that seemed to shoot straight into the sky before shoving themselves across the finish line at a dead sprint. The year asthmatic, skinny, pale JD, pre-puberty and all elbows and knees, joined the team, it was the first race of the season, so they all had about a week and a half of conditioning under their belts. It was like asking toddlers to conquer Europe.

The race day came, no matter how much Johnny begged it not to. The gun went off, he jogged a bit and then walked on and off for, like, a mile, and when he turned the corner out of the woods and saw the most legendary sledding hill in the county looming over him, he fully stopped at the foot of the hill, not even noticing the parents screaming encouragements or the equally skinny and asthmatic competitors passing him. He simply stared up at the slope, awed by its incline.

That’s how he felt staring at a 12 hour on-call shift on Christmas Eve with Dr. Cox, a board member in the ICU, 4 car accident victims, one of which had already coded twice, and a young man desperately awaiting a kidney. It was the same feeling, only this time he didn’t start puking Gatorade so violently that his dad had to run onto the course and help him to a porta-potty while a coach directed traffic around his stinking lunch.

At least, not yet.

The door to the on-call room swung open, a figure standing in the door frame, and his heart was in that race again, fleeing his chest in a panic

In a rare moment of Christmas spirit, Kelso had granted a small splurge for some fairy lights in a few places around the hospital. Their twinkling light cascaded through the open door and cast Doctor Cox’s sharp silhouette in a gentle glow. JD had never seen anything so beautiful in his life.

“Let’s get to work, Newbie.”

The hill loomed.

JD barely registered what he was doing, his world becoming a blur of rooms, beds, faces, charts, pens, needles, and Perry. Perry wasn’t blurry. Perry’s hand was on his shoulder, Perry’s eyebrows were furrowed as he wrote, Perry didn’t even blink while tossing JD a chart. And every time he got a chance to finally close his eyes, it seemed like only seconds later that Perry was shaking him awake, helping him to his feet. God, his  _ feet _ . He just wanted to get off his feet.

Despite the rants and the fights and the distinct lack of affection that JD caught himself daydreaming about, they made a good team. One to think and process, one to bark for efficiency. One to feel, and one to do. One to ground the other. They had to snap at each other, shove charts in each other’s faces, whistle, touch, anything to keep one another focused. Suddenly the hill was muddy. JD was injured, Perry was barely awake, someone was shooting at them, and they were dragging each other up the slope, JD screaming for bandages — 

Just a dumb fantasy. Focus, JD. No, don’t. You’re in a brief moment of blessed peace. Savor it. He tilted his head back against the wall, just wishing he could sit, but knowing the trip to the break room would only waste his precious respite. Perry was handing him coffee.

And then, his pager. Perry’s pager. They locked eyes as they recognized the room number. 

Zoe.

Among all the christmas bustle there was one of the usual snow related accidents on the freeway. A little 7 year old girl had been in the pileup. Her 16 year old brother, Charlie, had been behind the wheel driving in his first snow. He was dealing with broken ribs and internal bleeding, but he looked like he was going to pull through. Zoe had been touch and go for a while, but she had seemed stable enough. What the hell had happened? He abandoned his coffee without hesitation. Charging towards her room, all JD could think about was how young she was, how guilty her brother had felt about the whole thing and how relieved he’d been when he’d found out she was stable. 

She wasn’t dead yet.

JD pushed every thought that wasn’t  _ do this now _ out of his head as he sprinted down the hall, his stethoscope bouncing on his chest, running on his toes, muddy tennis shoes digging into the earth and bounding up tree roots like stairs…

“Starting CPR.”

It was probably going to rebreak her ribs but he didn’t care. Broken ribs are common when bending them two inches past their normal state, especially when they’re barely healed on a little girl.

He was sweating from the effort of the compressions. His heart was pounding. He found himself wishing for the magical ability to transfer his racing heartbeat to this little girl, to give her his shallow breaths.

“C’mon…” He was climbing uphill, carrying Zoe on his back. She was heavier than she looked. His lungs burned, his calves screamed, but he pressed on. The end was so close.

But medicine isn’t a race. There’s no finish line that you have to push for, no giant timer telling you your level of success, no string of plastic flags to funnel you into the blessed end. Saving lives has a time limit. If you’re not fast enough, the finish line disappears.

Zoe ran out of time.

He slumped to the floor outside the room. Doctor Cox stood above him. “Can’t win ‘em all, Newbie.”

All he could do was rejoice in being off his feet.

He could feel Perry’s eyes on him as he decided whether he wanted to listen to the half of his brain that begged for sleep, or the half that knew he didn’t deserve it. For a moment, it almost seemed like Dr. Cox could hear those voices too, or at least could identify the outward signs. Either way, he simply said, “Go home.”

JD couldn’t even muster the energy to express his surprise. He had come to expect baiting and tricks from his unwilling mentor, but for once he seemed genuine. He hauled himself to his feet again.  _ God.  _ “Merry Christmas, Doctor Cox.” And that was the closest they would get to a fanfare, to a roaring crowd praising them for collapsing across the finish line.

The sliding doors opened to greet his approach and a gust of wind dusted a few flakes of snow onto the carpeted entrance. The asphalt had already been salted, leaving goopy gray puddles of slush that squished and splashed in grainy chunks beneath his sneakers. But beyond the parking lot, outside the perimeter of the hospital, the snow glinted off the trees colored by dancing Christmas lights.

His mind wandered to his apartment, to Turk and Carla, who were already asleep in the apartment. They would wake up only a few hours after he got home, ready to celebrate and smile and laugh with their favorite third wheel.

He thought about that warmth, that contentment, that boost that he couldn’t bring himself to believe he deserved, and decided he wasn’t ready to leave.

Suddenly invigorated, JD about-faced and power-walked to the nurse’s station, filled with anxious adrenaline that he knew was a sprint and could only last a moment.

“Where’s Doctor Cox?”

The nurse pointed, and before he could stop himself, JD had flung open the door to the on-call room. Breathless, he wondered if the lights silhouetted him the way they had Doctor Cox mere hours ago. He’d been breathless then, too.

“Belinda, what are you —”

“Is anyone else in here?” He was stalling — he knew the answer.

“Not a soul. Newbie —”

JD shut the door behind him, at a loss for what the hell to do next.

“Sasha, you’d better go ahead and tell me what the hell is happening or so help me —”

“I don’t want to go home.”

Silence. JD cringed, realizing how childish he sounded. But that was just it. He felt like a child, reduced to basic emotions of tired, frustrated, sad. He couldn’t express anything else. Not that he should, even if he were able. He couldn’t just say, “Kiss me so I know that everything will be okay.” Like most things, that was better left in his head.

“Come here.”

JD obeyed semi-consciously. Dr. Cox’s warm hands connected with his shoulders, their heat spreading through his veins like ink in water and guiding him toward one of the beds. JD had a brief flash of clarity, realizing he was about to be tucked in.  _ Child _ , his brain scolded. He ignored it, toeing off his shoes and folding himself under the thin blankets.

Dr. Cox sat on the edge of the bed, half on and half off. The sight of his profile, curved forehead, elegant nose, full lips, strong jaw, outlined against the navy darkness behind him took JD’s breath away. With all the running and the shoulder touching and closeness, he hadn’t even taken a moment to question why Dr. Cox hadn’t already put his foot up JD’s ass. Before he could dwell on it, let alone say anything, Perry’s fingers were in his hair and every one of JD’s brain functions stalled.

“It’s been a while since this job got to you, huh? Yeah I think you’re about due for a breakdown.”

His throat felt thick. Despite finally being in bed, off duty, off his feet, JD felt less like relaxing and more like crying.

“Now, me, I had mine last week, a few days after Jordan finally decided to leave for good. So I’m a solid rock. Whatever you need, Newbie, I’m here.”

All he could do was nod.

Dr. Cox sighed, the soothing motion of his fingers combing through JD’s hair as steady as his presence ever was. “What I’m saying there, Newbie, is that there’s no shame in letting go and breaking down, as long as you’re still ready to put your dukes up the next day and take some more punches.”

So he let go.

He had cried in front of his reluctant mentor several times, but never like this. These weren’t angry tears or exhausted tears or frustrated tears. These were all of the above, shoved down for god knows how long. And Dr. Cox endured it, scratching gently at the short hairs on the back of his neck and not saying a word. Minutes passed, and JD felt his mind coming back to him, along with the clarity he needed to be embarrassed. He sat up, shoving the heels of his hands into his eyes as if trying to force the tears to stop flowing. Dr. Cox gripped his wrists and pulled them away.

“Sorry,” JD said. Whether he was apologizing for the tears or the self-abuse, he did not know. He reclaimed his hands, which felt heavier than he remembered, and lifted the sleeve of his scrubs to wipe his eyes.

“Maggie, if you didn’t gather from my highly out of character kind speech from before your little sobfest that you have absolutely nothing to be sorry for, I’ll repeat it in a way that you can understand.” Perry gripped JD’s chin, and oh how he wanted that to be real affection. “This. Place. Sucks. And no matter how thick your skin is, this hellhole is going to get to you. Bottling it up will drive you crazy, Newbie. Take it from someone who knows.”

“...Thank you.”

“Of course.” 

_ Of course _ . What an odd response to a thank you. As if JD shouldn’t expect anything less.

It was then that JD realized that Perry had let go of his chin, but their faces were still achingly close. He could feel Perry’s breath on his lips, beckoning him closer. It was so tempting to reach forward and kiss him, not in some fireworks display first kiss full of romance novel heat and passion, but to just kiss him once on the lips, once on the neck, and just fall asleep in his arms as if they’d been lovers for years.

The unusual comfort and warmth was getting to him. He was drunk on the affection and everything felt so twisted, but he was spellbound, unable to move away. Only closer.

And closer

And closer

And—

Dr. Cox put a hand on his chest. “Newbie—”

“No,” he interrupted firmly. “No more excuses.”

And just like that, they connected. It wasn’t a fireworks display, but it wasn’t familiar either. It was easy, natural, electric. Like he was meeting Perry Cox for the first time. It was that final sprint, pushing everything he had into gaining seconds. It almost snuck up on him. One second he was enjoying the scent of Perry’s cologne up close and the next they were gripping each other’s faces, enraptured by the taste of one another. For a few unending moments, they couldn’t get enough of each other. For a few brief infinites, they gave into the absolute irresistibility of one another, the magnetism that they had fought for so long. And like magnets, they clicked into place.

And then they parted, slowly, achingly. Their lips hovered centimeters apart as they tried to breathe in one last taste.

JD pursed his lips, his head swimming as he fought for the courage to speak. “I…”  _ just do it, Dorian.  _ “Um, I have feelings for you.”

A tense pause. And then, he laughed. Doctor Cox actually laughed, and JD froze.

“That’s your glorious love confession?” Perry said, still grinning against his lips. “‘I have feelings for you?’ Surely after years of pining you can come up with something better than  _ that _ .”

JD felt like an idiot. Of course. Of course Doctor Cox didn’t reciprocate. This is why he didn’t say anything for so long, because he  _ knew _ it would turn out this way. All thought was replaced with action. He panicked and pulled Perry in for another passionate kiss, one he couldn’t escape from. Just keep kissing, pretend it never happened.

He seemed to gain ground for a moment before Perry shook off his surprise and pulled away, ducking another attack. 

“JD,” He said. “I have feelings for you too, they’re complicated, messy feelings, but there’s no use denying them anymore.

JD felt the breath leave his body. “Really?”

A chuckle and a sweet kiss to the corner of his mouth. “Give me a chance to speak before you panic next time.”

Next time. There would be a next time. JD had been waiting for this moment since the first day of his internship. Perry Cox was confessing his feelings while kissing him in the on-call room, and suddenly he couldn’t wipe the smile off his face. They clicked into place once again, grinning against each other’s lips. JD sprung forward, and they fell together, tumbling and laughing and kissing and feeling and lifting shirt hems and grabbing skin and— 

“Not here, Newbie.” The nickname had never sounded so sweet. “Not now.” He granted JD a kiss. “Soon, I promise. But not in this dump.”

JD wanted so badly to protest, but he was so goddamn tired, and Perry’s arms looked so inviting. His face fit perfectly in the crook of his harm, and fingers came to ruffle his hair briefly, but JD didn’t let them leave. Perry chuckled and obeyed, gently scratching at JD’s scalp until his eyes could barely stay open. 

Every shift at the hospital felt like a race, filled with hills and obstacles. But Perry...Perry had been a marathon. And it felt so good to cross the finish line.


End file.
